Today, I realize the real meaning of my childhood dreams. Looking at the whole scenario in my head, I was clearly the one in distress and simply wanted saving back then. Luckily, I didn't need a knight in shining armor to do the whole rescue. All the doors of opportunity opened up for me, and I entered them at the exact time and day. Everything fell into place.
My dream of writing a book is at reality's door. It may not be a historical romance kind anymore, but writing something is what matters. Whatever I ended up with, writing is an accomplishment already.
A dear friend eagerly asked me, “Why don't you write a memoir?”
Avoiding her eyes, I sighed and responded, “Whenever I start writing about my past, I just ended up crying.”
I felt her warm hand cover my left wrist. With a concerned tone, she said, “I understand. It is difficult to dig out the buried emotions."
My free hand touched her hand back, and averted my eyes on hers, “Yes, it's scary, and seeing the whole scene in my head puts me right back where I don't want to be.”
It's effortless to say, “I will write my personal memoir today and have it published.” But the truth is, it's difficult for me to gather up the broken pieces and go back in time. Reliving different painful scenarios, recalling words that burn through your heart, and putting your whole self back in a world you dread are not comfortable things to do.
For now, I'm staying away from painful memoirs.
I'm concentrating on Science-Fiction, Fantasy, Urban Fantasy Fiction stories. I have given freedom to my wild imagination. I've released my childhood characters from the hidden dark corners of my inner abyss. I scattered them on the ground to let them dwell inside the evil moonlit forest, to invade the peace under the murky waters of the nearby lake, and poke you from behind. They'd be following you in your bedroom when you are about to go to sleep, and say, "I'm watching you, all night."
If that scared you, right now, perhaps I'm on the right path with my writing. *laughs*