Monday, July 21, 2014

Haiku #14

I have been contemplating whether to post this poem here, or not. It is a bit disturbing when I wrote it in the wee hours of the morning. (2:00 a.m.) I woke up crying around 1:00 a.m., and I had difficulty stopping myself from sobbing. Fortunately, writing helped.

I'm not sure why I had a bad dream. Maybe, I worry too much that it affects my deep slumber. It doesn't happen often for me, but it gets intense when it does. I don't need to tell everyone about my whole life story. Good or bad, I know I'll hear it all. I don't really care anymore. I'm getting numb everyday.

Haiku #14 - Nightmare
© by Sonnia Jean Kemmer July 21, 2014

When you dream of death,
Do you believe what you see?
Do you listen, too?

In this bizarre dream,
Do you feel sorrow and pain?
Can you even scream?

I dreamed about death.
My body acquired a stroke,
Yet was still alive.

Could not move myself,
But felt things and heard it, too.
It was a sad state.

Got fed by others.
Got cleaned and changed by others.
I was disabled.

When wanting something,
Which I cannot really reach,
None wanted to help.

There were times when they,
The ones who assisted me,
Laughed after I tried.

I wanted to die.
I groaned and moaned about it.
They all laughed at me.

Tears came easily.
Nobody understood me.
I could not speak straight.

It was difficult
When no one really listens
In a dream, or not.

I woke up crying.
Big dose of pain and sorrow.
It felt very real.

If I dream of death,
I must remember it all.
Every piece of it.

When the right time comes,
I'd be set for the big blow.
No more tears to shed.

© by Sonnia Jean Kemmer July 21, 2014

Sometimes, I think that my old depression comes in and out of the big picture. It's tough to shake it off, especially when I'm all happy where I am in my life. It creeps back in and hangs around pointlessly. I have let go of all the toxicity that chained my depression to me. I know that it is just a reminder to keep the toxic people out. I feel better with that.

Have you had a bad dream and felt it so real?

Sunday, July 20, 2014

AIDS Walk 2014 with LSJUMB

AIDS Walk was an interesting event to attend to. No, I didn't register to walk, but I did get my steps. How? I carried my camera, took photos of the participants as well as the LSJUMB (Leland Stanford Junior University Marching Band) members, and that earned me steps on my Fitbit. See? I walked! Well, I sat, too. I took breaks. Of course! The sky was overcast, but a perfect day for AIDS Walk.

Awesome live music to boost the walkers' spirit. Cheers! The pumped up participants stopped by in front of the band to listen to some funky music. Several people danced, some took photos with the band, and some continued on with their wonderful purpose. What a fine day! There were jolly participants in their colorful clothing, too. Check them out!

The best part of the walk was this heroic three-legged doggie. Wow! I wanted to hug this dog! I mean, how could you not??? S/he was amazing! S/he met the challenge and finished it. Funtabulous!

Every participant in this event was special. They all did it for a great cause. Keep up the good work! Extra special to the four-legged fur-babies, of course. Check them out! (Be prepared to scroll down for a long time, because there were tons of cute doggies. Also, please excuse the blurry shots. They were all walking fast, and I had to chase them. LOL.)

Sadly, this post ends here. Have you participated in a walkathon with tons of fur-babies?